S4E3: Happy McPartlin
In this episode, Hayley and Amy talk with Broadway performer Happy McPartlin about always being prepared to go on as a standby/cover, the importance of storytelling for human connection, holding onto your values and identity as a theatre person through career ups and downs, and more. Scroll down for episode notes and transcript!
Episode Notes
Hosts: Hayley Goldenberg and Amy Andrews
Guest: Happy McPartlin
Music: Chloe Geller
Episode Resources:
Guest Bio:
Happy McPartlin (she/her) is currently understudying Older Allie and Mother/Nurse Lori on Broadway in the new musical The Notebook, written by Ingrid Michaelson and Bekah Brunstetter, directed by Michael Greif and Schele Williams. Prior to that, she completed a 5-year run as a standby with Come From Away on Broadway, performing in the show well over 400 times in 5 different roles. Prior to that, she spent time working in some of the preeminent theaters in Washington, DC, performing in the ensembles of 110 In The Shade at Ford's Theatre, The Secret Garden for The Shakespeare Theatre, Gun & Powder (workshop ) at Signature Theatre, as well as standing by for the Pre-Broadway run of Come From Away. Happy was honored to be chosen to play the role of Beulah in Come From Away for the 20th Anniversary Memorial Concert for 9/11 in Washington, DC at the Lincoln Memorial, which was attended by roughly 10,000 people. She has also appeared on the Come From Away national tour and performed the role of Hannah for the Come From Away Tiny Desk Concert for NPR. Other favorite credits include - Broadway: Hands on a Hardbody. National tours: Memphis 1st National Tour, Hairspray (Velma), The Full Monty (Georgie). Regional: Stages Repertory: Diana in Next to Normal; Paper Mill & TUTS: Curtains; Geva: …Spelling Bee; Ogunquit Playhouse: Les Misérables, Sunset Boulevard, and The Full Monty; Bucks County Playhouse: Pennywise in Urinetown, the Witch in Into The Woods, and Sugar Babies; The Chaperone in The Drowsy Chaperone at Theatre By the Sea. Happy's biggest joy is her family - an 8-year-old son and husband - and she loves spending time with dear friends doing just about anything, baking, and watching way too much television!
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Episode Transcript
(Music)
Hayley: Hello beautiful people, and welcome back to the Women & Theatre Podcast! We’re your hosts, Hayley Goldenberg…
Amy: …and Amy Andrews. Grab a cozy beverage and join us as we talk to women and gender-expansive folks about their experiences at the intersection of womanhood and theatre.
Hayley: On the pod, we cultivate open conversations across identities and professional roles…
Amy: We look for opportunities to support one another in growing our careers…
Hayley: And we pool our collective wisdom to build the equitable theatrical spaces of the future.
(Music)
Amy: Let's start off by checking in.
Hayley: Do you want to do our roses and thorns for this week?
Amy: Let's do roses and thorns. Do you want to go first?
Hayley: Well, my rose for the week is that me and my collaborator Julia had this really great meeting with Skye Cone Ivey about a cabaret. It was such a great example of getting women in a room together and like, making magic happen. I really feel like this is a dream team just to add someone like Skye to our process as writers and engage with her as a producer. So I was really excited about that meeting.
And my thorn for the week… I just feel like I've been like, running myself ragged. There's lots of amazing stuff going on, but I also just feel like I could really use a moment to breathe and spend time with family. But I'm going to be going to Toronto tomorrow. So I'll get to be with my spouse and spend time with them. So yeah. Amy, could you tell me your roses and thorns for this week? How have you been?
Amy: Yeah, I feel like mine are actually very similar to yours. My rose for this week is that I have been having lots of energy and forward momentum on the two shows that I'm writing, and I'm really excited about it. In both of my collaborations, we've been like, getting songs written, having epiphanies about our characters and the stories that we're telling, and it's just, there's a lot of forward movement and a lot of excitement there.
And I just - like you were saying, bringing women together in a room - I adore both of the collaborators that I'm working with, Julie Richardson and Kat Zimmerman. They both are phenomenal women and composers and moms and just really, really good people, and I love being in collaborative spaces with them. So that's my rose.
My thorn is sleep. I have not been getting enough of it, and I need to get more of it.
Hayley: Is there anything you do for yourself when you struggle with sleep?
Amy: Yeah, I mean…
Hayley: Is this theatrically related? Yes, because we all need sleep to function.
Amy: Yes, of course it is! Everyone needs sleep.
There are definitely practices that I try to put in place to support me getting enough sleep. Are they always successful? No. Have I figured sleep out? No. I will say, as a parent, one of the best things that I've done for myself was to set really clear boundaries around sleep with my daughter. Which, again, does this look perfect every night? No, no it doesn't. But in general, we have set clear boundaries with her about like, what is and is not allowed when it is sleep time. So that's been really helpful.
For me - you know, all the things. Like, I try to not look at my tech devices right before I go to bed. I try to kind of wind down a bit. I like to read in bed, I'm a reader. And I kind of have to be careful that I'm not reading anything too interesting because then my brain is buzzing.
Hayley: I feel that. Like, it can't be a really good novel that's making you turn the pages.
Amy: Oh my god, I can't even read fiction anymore, because I'll get so involved in a book and then it's like four in the morning, and I just am still reading because I can't put it down. I need to set stronger boundaries with myself on that. But, yeah. Breathing techniques and meditation…
And some days, sleep doesn't come, and a big thing that's helpful for me is just like, trying to be okay with that. My mom used to say to me when I was a kid, “It's okay if you can't fall asleep. If you close your eyes and rest quietly in your bed, that's just as good for your body as sleeping.” It was really helpful to me, ‘cause it gives me something I can do, you know? Like, I can't control when I fall asleep, but I can control, “Okay, I'm lying down in my bed and closing my eyes and making my body still.”
Hayley: For sure.
Amy: Yeah.
Hayley: Something that my friend told me recently, which was really helpful, is telling your body subtly that it's sleep time before it's sleep time. So like, when you're doing your wind down, turning the lights lower if you can. I'll put a t-shirt over my lamp - which is not a fire hazard in my case, but it could be, so be careful with this! It'll kind of like, dim the light even more so. And I find when I do the t-shirt thing, I actually fall asleep more quickly.
Amy: Nice.
Hayley: Um, I love that we talked about sleep today.
(Musical transition)
Amy: I'm so excited that we're talking today with Happy McPartlin, who is one of my favorite people in theatre. I just think she's awesome. I have known her for a really long time through different friends, and we have a lot of people in common, and I'm excited to really sit down with her and get to know more about her as a person and her journey.
Hayley: Yeah, I'm really excited too. I did just see The Notebook recently. And I am really excited about hearing what her journey with that show has been like. From what you've said about her, I'm so pumped to hear her perspective as a parent in theatre. There's so many things.
Amy: Yeah, she is a busy working theatre mama, and we love that.
Hayley: We do.
Amy: Happy McPartlin is currently understudying Older Allie and Mother/Nurse Lori on Broadway in the new musical The Notebook, written by Ingrid Michaelson and Bekah Brunstetter, directed by Michael Greif and Schele Williams. Prior to that, she completed a five-year run as a standby with Come From Away on Broadway, performing in the show well over 400 times in five different roles.
Prior to that, Happy spent time working in some of the preeminent theaters in Washington, DC, performing in the ensembles of 110 In The Shade at Ford's Theatre, The Secret Garden for The Shakespeare Theatre, a workshop of Gun & Powder at Signature Theatre, as well as standing by for the pre-Broadway run of Come From Away. Happy was honored to be chosen to play the role of Beulah in Come From Away for the 20th Anniversary Memorial Concert for 9/11 in Washington, DC, at the Lincoln Memorial, which was attended by roughly 10,000 people. She has also appeared on the Come From Away national tour and performed the role of Hannah for the Come From Away Tiny Desk Concert for NPR.
Happy’s other favorite credits include Hands on a Hardbody on Broadway, the Memphis first national tour, Velma in the Hairspray national tour, Georgie in The Full Monty national tour. Her regional credits include Diana in Next to Normal at Stages Repertory; Curtains at Paper Mill & TUTS, …Spelling Bee at Geva; Les Mis, Sunset Boulevard, and The Full Monty at Ogunquit Playhouse; Pennywise in Urinetown, the Witch in Into The Woods, and Sugar Babies at Bucks County Playhouse; and the Chaperone in The Drowsy Chaperone at Theatre By the Sea. Happy's biggest joy is her family - an 8 year old son and husband, and she loves spending time with dear friends doing just about anything, baking, and watching way too much television!
(Musical transition)
Amy: Hello, Women & Theatre community! We are here today with fabulous performer Happy McPartlin. Hi Happy, it's so good to see you!
Happy: Hello!
Amy: Could you just introduce yourself and share your pronouns and tell us a bit about what you do in theatre?
Happy: Sure. My name is Happy McPartlin, she/her, and I'm one of those strange people who does standby/swing work at this juncture in my career. I'm an actor overall, and that's sort of my current specialty, is swinging and standing by. And I'm lucky enough to currently be working on Broadway in that capacity.
Hayley: Happy, can you tell us the story of how you fell in love with theatre and how you came to your creative work?
Happy: Sure. I think like probably a lot of people in my generation, I came to love theatre because of Andrea McArdle and Annie and the soundtrack, which was on repeat in my house. I think I put on at least 25 productions of Annie in my garage, my yard, everyone else's garage… We learn to appreciate costuming and direction and all of that from the very beginning when we put on our own productions. Which is a plus for later down the line. But, that's how I started out.
And then my mom actually took me to see the show when I was, I think I was four and a half. And she said she was worried that I was going to run up on the stage, but I didn't. I just stayed there sort of transfixed and mesmerized by this whole crazy thing that was going on in front of me. And from then on I wanted to do it, but I honestly didn't come to, “Yes, I'm going to do this” until I was a junior in high school.
I had done a lot of community theatre. I wasn't lucky enough to have one of those schools that had a great theatre program. So I ended up being in a lot of community theatre. My mom would let me do one community theatre a year, so it didn't conflict too much with school and everything. And I loved doing that. I was always in the ensemble, and I had just started out. My first one was Annie. I loved it.
And so I did that for a long time, and I wanted to do it, but there was part of me that thought, “Well, maybe I'm good in Schenectady, but I'm not that great.” Or “I'll go down and I'll just hate auditioning, I'll feel so rejected. I don't know how it's going to be.” And so I think there was a lot of pragmatic thinking going on about, like, “Well, but I'm not so sure.”
And I managed to get a couple of leads when I was in my junior year and did a professional show, very last-minute, last-minute fill in, for a production of Little Shop of Horrors that had lost two people and only had one cover. So I think I learned that show in a day and a half, did that, and it was a professional production, so I thought, “Okay, maybe, maybe…”
And then the next show I booked was a professional production with about half the cast from my area, which is Schenectady, Albany, New York, and half the cast from New York City. And I was transfixed by these people, and I just, I wanted to be like them. And they all said, “You're going to New York, right?” And I said, “Well, I'm not so sure,” and they said, “You're going to New York.”
Hayley: What a gift those people gave you, hey?
Amy: Yeah!
Happy: I don't know what I would do without them. I'm still in touch with several of those people. And I think they know, but if they don't, I'm shouting it out to John Sharp, Lauren Hubbell, and various members of the company of West Side Story at the Park Playhouse, circa 1990 or early something. They were my inspiration to come here.
And then the pragmatic side of me took over and said, “Let's graduate early from high school, go audition for six months and see if we like it or we don't like it. Because if I don't, I don't want to go to school for it and waste all of my parents’ money and my money combined to figure out that I don't like it, and then I gotta do something else.” So I came down here. It was so hard and so difficult - you know, I think I had like a $10 food budget for each week. And sometimes I really despised what I was doing, but I loved it all at the same time.
And I knew from then on that - I don't know if they say this, but, “You have the sickness. You have the sickness, you have to do it.” So then I went to school at NYU, and thus began a very long and rollercoaster-y ride to a career in theatre.
Amy: And a very exciting career that's going to cool places. Can you tell us a bit about what you're working on creatively right now?
Happy: So right now, I am working on the brand new musical, The Notebook, which actually opens in two days.
It’s lots of feelings! It's a very strange, sort of out-of-body experience. Because you're waiting for this thing to come, even though you've already been in previews and you're already feeling what the audience is feeling. So, you know, you sort of have an idea, but it's Broadway. You have no idea.
We're really, really excited. I am the offstage cover for Older Allie, I'm a cover for Mother and Nurse Lori, and I'm also a cover for one of the ensemble members. So, I would say I'm the “older lady cover”, and that's the place I love to be. Covering the great actresses Maryann Plunkett, Andrea Burns, and Yassmin Alers.
Amy: So we heard that you had an exciting experience in covering for The Notebook. Do you want to tell us about that?
Happy: Yes. Exciting and terrifying! I found out quite last minute - we were actually just about to start our first on-stage rehearsal for the covers. We had had one rehearsal in the rehearsal space, where we got to walk through Act 1 and get a little comfortable with that, and then of course we moved to the theatre, lots of changes are made. You see the whole set, and you're like, “Wait, what does that mean? Do I come out of here? Do I come out of here?” Because it's not flat, it's 3D.
So we're just about to get to that work, which was really exciting. And instead they said, “Can you please come to the tech table?” And they said, “Maryann will be out tonight and you're on.”
Maryann Plunkett is our leading lady. She is, I mean, the ultimate actress. It is a masterclass to watch her, and to say that is intimidating would be the grossest understatement I could make. She is not intimidating. She's the most lovely woman and so open and so giving. She actually sent me a message saying, “I'm so sorry. And I wish we'd had our chance to have our talk and we'll do that as soon as we can.” But you know, sometimes these things can't be helped. So thankfully, she is fine, everything was fine, but it just was a last-minute “You've got to go on.”
And so we took that rehearsal day, which was about 2–2.5 hours, and turned it into sort of a put-in for me from cue to cue. And luckily, I have amazing directors and associates and choreographers and choreography associates and music directors, and everyone was fully there to support and help and make sure and - no pressure, but it was Valentine's Day at The Notebook. So… “No pressure, but do we have to cancel the show?” And I said, “Absolutely not on my account!”
Amy: I love that you felt so supported by everyone in the show, in the community. That’s… I mean, gosh, if you're going to be in a situation like that, that's the way to do it.
Happy: I really did. And, you know, I think there were people in the audience during the rehearsal who were there to pragmatically say, “Are we going to do this?” And the answer was, “Yep, we're doing it. Okay.” And I'm also glad for that, because if it were to, you know, misrepresent or not represent well… Despite whatever hours of rehearsal, your job is to know exactly what you're supposed to do and to be able to go out there from moment one, whether it's in rehearsal, whether it's first preview, last preview, end of the road. You know, you have to be ready as much as you can. And I remember Andrea Burns asked me right before we started, she said, “Um, are you ready?” And I said, “No! But I'm prepared.”
And that's sort of all you can do. It's like, you can't say that you're ready, because I have no idea what it's going to be like. This is one of the roles of a lifetime, a very challenging role as an actor. And Maryann has been working on this for literally years and has a very close personal experience with it and brings such a beautiful cadence to it. And watching that and thinking, like, “Oh, sure. I got this….” I'm no fool. I was definitely not like, “I got this.” I think three weeks before, I thought, “I hope they don't think they've made a mistake the first time I go on.”
But you know, those are the nerves and the fears and everything. And then you just say: Fear is a liar. Fear is a liar, and it doesn't help you. And you just get over it and you move into the work and do it.
Amy: Yes, fear is a liar!
Happy: I’m very lucky that I was supported, but smartly supported. There wasn't blind faith. You know, it was really great. And I couldn't have done it without all of those people being there and helping me along.
Hayley: I love when you said fear is a liar. Are there any other pieces of wisdom you would share for any swings or standbys out there who experience something similar?
Happy: I always say: You can literally never think that you won't be going on the next second. Because even with this - now, I did Come From Away for many, many years. And that was incredible. And I covered five different tracks - two of which I was sort of more responsible for, three of which I wasn't really, unless the wrong combination of people were out of the building. And for those three tracks, you always had to be careful that you hadn't gotten too far away from it. Because yes, it wasn't your primary responsibility, but at any moment, someone can get stuck on the train when someone else is sick and it's like, “Well, you're on.” Well, I didn't rehearse that for nine months. So have I gone over it myself? Do I feel comfortable?
But even knowing all of that, there was something that I was watching in our third preview that Maryann was doing. And I thought, “Oh, she moved slightly differently here.” You know, sometimes during tech, they change a little something, but they change it on the side of the stage or in a note, and so you only catch it when you watch the show. And then you're like, “Okay, so wait, what was that change?” Right? I literally thought to myself on Sunday night, “Oh, it's okay, I'll catch it the next time.” Nope, no, you won't, because there's not a next time until after you have to do it. So always being as fully prepared as you can possibly be.
And then… I learned this with Come From Away, but this was very similar in that this is just a beautiful story, and this is not about you. I mean, theatre is not about you. It's about the story, it's about how the audience feels, reacts, what they're taking in. And so that's really helpful when you're scared, when you're feeling like “I'm not sure…” At any moment, you just have to say to yourself, “Just tell the story. Just go out there and tell the story.” If you blip three words in a line, if you sort of invert something, that is not the point. The point is to go out there and tell the story, and that is your ultimate job.
Then, of course you want to be word-perfect the next time if you mess it up. But at the same time, you really just have to go out there and forget about yourself and remember the story that you're telling. Because ultimately, I think that's why I got into this in the first place, is I loved these stories that made me feel all these things. And now I want to go make other people feel all those things.
Hayley: Yeah.
Amy: That's beautiful. That sounds to me like it's sort of a creative mission that drives your work is storytelling and connecting with people. Can you talk a little bit about that and what that means to you?
Happy: Yeah. I think - you know, now being a mom, one of the things that I really feel is such a loss when I'm working… It's like, we're lucky enough to work, but what does that mean? That means you're usually away from your child five or six nights a week. And there's no more bedtime. There's no more bath time. There's no more of that you know, intimate closeness.
And when I was a kid, my mom read to me. She would read, you know, regular smaller books, but then as I got older, she read chapter books to me. And those are the stories that I still think about - you know, Little Women and The Secret Garden and James and the Giant Peach, all of those books, and how special those memories are for me with my mom. I mean, it's sort of like the basis of humanity is how we relate to one another and just feeling things other people feel, or experiencing other people's experiences. Creating our lives out of communities that we don't even know, but you get to know through books and storytelling.
You know, with Come From Away, my son was really too young. Like, I would try to read over FaceTime and it didn't really work. But now, the best thing about him being the age he is now is that now we're onto chapter books. And so I'm bringing my chapter book to the theatre and being able to read to him every night. And knowing that now he still feels that connection, I think that just reinforces how important storytelling is for us.
The way theatre works, in its best form, is that people are all sitting in that room having a sort of collective experience. Even if they're picking from different parts of their life or different things that they're responding to, that they feel like they've all been just taken on this journey. And The Notebook is incredible that way. I've had so many friends and family come to see it and say, “Oh, I was thinking about this at this time.” The amazing myriad of how people are taking in the same exact story.
Yes, that's a mission, because if it moves that many people in that many different ways, it's bringing us all together in one thing, and boy, do we need that.
Hayley: You said it.
Amy: Yeah, we sure do.
(Musical transition)
Hayley: I wanted to ask you, Happy, about womanhood and how it fits into your identity and your experience as a theatre person. Will you talk to us a little bit about what being a woman means to you?
Happy: Sure. I think I think of womanhood, for me, mainly as - I don't know, it's the caretaking portion of womanhood. Which then, of course, translates into not always caretaking yourself, unfortunately. But I love that part, maybe because I had such a wonderful, warm mom who really was there for me and still is there for me - you know, not always physically there, but always knows the moments when you need them and is the only person who still says, “Are you doing okay? You look kind of tired.” And, you know, “Are you getting enough rest?” Even my very caring husband is like, “Well, we're too busy living our kid life and our work life and stuff to think about that.” My mom is still trying to take care of me all these years later. I think of that mainly. And really, I had some wonderful teachers in elementary school who were such great caretakers. That's what I think of when I think of womanhood.
And certainly, in the job that I'm doing today, there's a wide variety of ages. I am the only person in the cast who has a school-age child. And then there's people who are significantly younger than me - I'm sharing the dressing room with them, and you find yourself really struggling to be like, “Okay, but you're not a mom here. You are just a person.” But it still translates into that, the sisterhood of caretaking.
Come From Away was such a huge part of my life and my professional growth, and that entire story is about taking care of other people. And especially, the age that I was when I started that, the age that I was when I finished that - this is sort of the time where you discover in your life, where you're like, “Yeah, I don't care about all that extraneous stuff anymore.” And this portion of my life has been super focused on - just take care of other people in the best way that you can. And I guess that's how I translate it into my womanhood.
Not that men can't do that too, but I think we have…
Hayley: No, but it's a personal relationship.
Happy: …an extra responsibility, and it's a personal feeling. You're right. Absolutely.
Amy: Yeah. That's really beautiful. You're talking about parenthood, which is something that is very personal to me as well. Can you talk a bit - because I know you had your theatre career and then became a mom and then have continued to have your theatre career - how has it shifted things for you, artistically and personally?
Happy: Well, I'm sort of one of those weird animals who - like, I've been 50 since I'm 15. So I always knew that the bigger portion of my career was hopefully going to come later. If it came at all, it was going to come later. Because I've always been someone's aunt, someone's mother, someone's grandmother. I was never the princess. I was never the young ingenue.
There's a lot of us out there, and people don't talk about it, because they're like, “It's fine. You're just the sister.” And I'm like, “It is totally fine.” But we all sort of feel like we have to be the “young thing” before we're the “old thing”. The only problem with being the old thing when you are young is people look at your theatre credits and they go, “You've done like, three things. Wait, how old are you?” And a lot of times, that translates into not booking the work.
So I did have a career before I had my son, but I would say it was, you know, it was very rollercoaster-y. I got to do a lot of new things, and then I would not work for two years. And then I got to do a tour and another tour, and then I wouldn't work for two years. And the great thing for me about that was it forced me to get a second set of skills that didn't make me crazy. Because, you know, we can all waitress, bartend, do manicures/pedicures, you know, work in an office. What doesn't make you crazy? And that's what I ended up having to do a lot of. And I found that as I got older, I sort of started thinking, “Okay, well, if this never happens, I can always do that.” And that was good.
But when I was in my mid-thirties, I finally met an agent who got me. He just got me and he still does to this day, and his name is Dustin Flores, and I owe him so much. Because we are nothing without opportunity. You can have all the talent in the world, but if you don't get to walk in that door, you don't get the job. So he has really opened those doors for me. But it started in my mid-thirties, when you're already thinking, “Okay, the clock is ticking. How much time do I have?”
And I did Hands on a Hardbody shortly after I was with this agent, and it was this beautiful, wonderful show on Broadway, and it lasted 10 minutes. And it was a lesson in - you know, I've waited all my life. I joked that I was going to call my book 30 Years to Broadway, 10 Minutes On. But it was really true. I mean, the whole thing from start to finish was 12 weeks. And it was a beautiful show.
So you think, “Okay, I can't put all of my eggs in this basket if there's other baskets that I want to explore.” And parenthood was one of them. So after that experience, my husband and I started thinking about really starting our family. And we unfortunately had - I had a miscarriage very early on, and then sort of was having some trouble, you know, with my body resetting and being able to get pregnant. And, you know, meanwhile, the clock is really ticking and it's time, right?
And so we started exploring going down to Washington, DC where - my husband is from there, and I know there's so much great theatre down there. So we went down one weekend, we started looking at apartments and that sort of thing, just thinking, ”Okay, well, maybe someday.”
Three months later, we had moved in. I had booked a job at Ford's Theatre. My husband got a job-job because that's what he wanted to do then. He had previously been an actor, but he sort of said, “I think I'm good.” And it was just this beautiful sort of universe saying, “Just go this way.” And I ended up - I worked at Ford's, I worked at the Shakespeare Theatre. I ended up doing Come From Away in the out-of-town tryout there.
And I got pregnant, I think, the weekend before we moved to DC. And I was working a secretarial job so that I could have this baby. And then my job at Ford's Theatre was supposed to start almost a year later, which - that's the great thing about DC, they do civilized things of, like - You know when this job is coming, and it's a year from now or it's eight months from now or whatever.
So I got super lucky. I mean, I feel like I literally got, like, at least a scratch-off win with that. And I had my son and he was very, very early. So I was able to - I mean, I was nursing while I was doing a show. My husband was working during the day, I was working at night. We could parent, you know, simultaneously but not always together. But our son was always with one of us. And it was something that, after waiting so long, was really important to us.
And that, it definitely shifted my thinking. I mean, I went to DC thinking this is - I'm doing this and I may never go back to New York. And when I was about to start Come From Away, I knew they were going to be casting for Broadway. And I thought, “Should I reach out to them and say, you know, I'd be willing to go back to New York if you guys want me to go?”
But my baby was eight months old. And I just thought - with the experience I'd had with Hands on a Hardbody, whether it was a hit or not, I thought, “I can't leave this little baby. I can't leave him for basically the better part of three months without his mom.” I didn't wait this long for this person to come into my life to do that. So I decided - no, I'm not going to ask, I'm just going to do this out-of-town tryout.
And the first time they read the script, I said, “Wow, you're dumb, because this is going to be a huge hit and I love it and it's so meaningful to me.” But I just told them, you know, “If you guys ever need me, give me a call.” And they called me about four months into the run and said, “Would you be willing to come up and start with us?”
And so it worked out so well for me, keeping that mentality of like - what is my priority? And at times, our career is a priority, and at times, our parenthood is the priority. Once you have a kid, it's sort of like parenthood - even if your career is your priority, you're like, “But, but, but, but, but, but…”, all the needs and the guilt and the wanting to be there for everything. That never goes away.
So, it's been a crazy trip. Come From Away closed in October of 2022. And I won't say, “I decided to take a year off.” I missed being with him. That was the gift of the pandemic - if there are such things - is that extra time with him when he was little and getting to be with him and grow with him and see him grow. And so, I worked another secretarial job remotely, so I could just focus on the parenting and prioritize that.
And then, this amazing opportunity presented itself. And that was because of Dustin also. Dustin, my agent, saw this in Chicago. And he came back and he said, “You have to cover this role.” He said, “I don't even know if they'll be looking, but you have to cover this role.” And the opportunity came, and luckily Michael Greif and Schele Williams agreed with him, as did all of the music staff and the creators.
And so now, I'm again doing a new balance of balancing the parenthood and the career, but I feel like with the time off in between, I'm getting a better sense of it. You know, I won't say that I've got it because you never do. And there's days when you feel like, “I want the show to run forever!” And then your son says, “How long is this show gonna run? Like, how long are you gonna be away?”
Hayley: Like, “Mommy, when you coming back?”, yeah.
Happy: But, you know, doing the reading at night and making that a priority for my time at the theatre is - that's the best way to find the balance. I don't know, throw stuff at the wall and see what works. So that's been my wacky story of how I balance it. I think we're all different, but we're all just trying and thank god for things like this. And there's a Broadway Moms group that we all throw things out to each other and like, “Has anybody ever dealt with this?” And it's helpful to know that you're not alone.
Amy: Absolutely. Yeah, I appreciate you talking about that. We talk with a lot of our interviewees about balance, like parenthood or just in general, balance in their lives, and I feel like it's not talked about enough, the way that balance shifts over time and in different periods of your life, so that's great.
Happy: The good thing about having this alternate career has been like - I've had people tell me like, from 28 years old, “Oh, so you're not in the business anymore.” I'm like, “No, I'm in the business. I'm just not working. I'm just not lucky enough to have a job right now.” So just because I work as a secretary in something that's a more permanent situation - you can give two weeks’ notice anywhere, right? Or they can fire you at any time. So I think everything is temporary. And if we didn't know that before COVID, we certainly know that now.
But having that time in your life where you're not just focused on your theatrical career - that doesn't mean you're out. I was actually speaking with Maryann Plunkett the other day, and she mentioned that she basically didn't work for the better part of 10 years in anything that wasn't more of a daytime-based project. She didn't do a show with an eight-show week for the first 10 years of her son's life. And that was a conscious decision. People would say, “Oh, she was out of the business.” No way was she out of the business! She was making a decision that for that portion of her life, the most important thing to her was her focus.
And then you come right back. Whether you're lucky enough to get the work when you come right back, maybe not all of us are and we have to rebuild, or we're a different type when we come back. But people forget! They don't even know if you were on tour for five years. You could have gone out with the Wicked tour and came back ten years later, and they're like, “Oh, it's so nice to see you!” They don't know that you gave up for 10 years, you know, “gave up.”
You did something else that was your focus and your desire. And I encourage everyone to try to think of it a little bit more that way than the sort of black-and-white of like, “I'm in. I'm out.” If you want to be “in” and you want to be “out,” fine. But if you want these other things, they can co-mingle and be: “I'm going to be fully back in in five years, but right now, here I am, where I am right now.” And that's okay.
Whatever anybody else says to you about what you're doing with your artistic pursuits is honestly of no consequence. It's really what you know in your heart, and hold to that, because there are plenty of people who didn't make it until after 40, after 50, after 60.
Hayley: I'm so glad that you're talking about this, Happy, because I have friends who are my age who talk about, like, “Am I getting too old?” You know, all of that fear in the business and that scarcity mindset. How did you hold onto your confidence that you were making the right decision for you?
Happy: I mean, if I had said to myself, “If I don't make it by 25, if I don't make it by 30…” Well, what's “making it”? You know, what is “making it” to you and what is “making it” to other people is something different.
I remember when Chita Rivera, rest her soul, was doing her last Broadway show, The Visit. There was a review that basically said, “Oh, you know, Chita’s wonderful, but it's a shame that this is sort of her last thing, because it's not as good as Chicago or one of her earlier things in her career…”
And I thought, “So even Chita Rivera is being discounted in her talent and what her ultimate career means because you didn't personally love this show as much as West Side Story.” That is bananas. And it also means that there's no winning with everyone. The only winning is: Are you doing the good work? Are you doing what you want to be doing? Are you telling the stories you want to tell? And are you living your life the way that you want to live it? That was maybe 10 years ago or so I read that, and it sort of fed into my mentality about this.
I have a good friend who I've been friends with since that West Side Story that I did. And he will tell me probably every time I see him, “I can't believe you didn't give up.” If anybody looked at where I was and what I was going through and how many like, very large, loud rejections I had, what a struggle it was for me to find a representative..
Going to open calls until you're in your mid-thirties is kind of cuckoo bananas, right? The main thing that kept me in it was I would get little drops, whether it was the universe just putting a person in my way who had something to say that just clicked in a way that you were like, “Okay, yep.” They would say something or make you feel a certain way about the specialness of what it was that you had to offer. And I had the gift of those things at very pivotal points in my life.
Craig Carnelia was an inspirational teacher to me who really helped me in a moment when I thought, “I just don't think it's for me anymore.” I kept getting down to the end for Broadway shows, and everyone who would get cast was probably ten years older than me and had four million more credits than I did.
I think it's really knowing what you want. If this is something that you're like, “I'm gonna hold on,” then you hold on. And I was lucky enough to get work along the way. I mean, I did The Full Monty tour for two years, which was an incredible part of my life. That was a job that came at a time when I was like, “I don't know, am I going to be able to do this at all?” And things like that that make you feel like, “Yes, this is it.” And then I can hold on. It's like the feast or famine. Well, I did get to feast. So even in the famine times, I got a little extra from that.
You really never know, right? We never know if it's the last one, the last time, the last big gig. When you're in your career and you do these shows that are so special, maybe it's sort of melancholy of me, but I will think a lot, “I wonder if this is the best thing I will ever do.” You know, not with every show.
Hayley: Like, you're nostalgic for the moment while it's happening.
Happy: The moment, the company, the community, the story, the experience, all of it. You wonder, like, is this the best role I'll ever do? Will this be the company where I have the best friends that I ever have on a job? And I've thought that a couple of times in my life and been like, you know what? I would be okay. If I never do something this special, I was so lucky that I did something this special.
And now I feel like I'm getting greedy. ‘Cause I'm just getting really, really lucky with the experiences that I have been having this late in my early-late career. And I'm flabbergasted.
(Musical transition)
Amy: Happy, if you could wave a magic wand and make a change to the theatre industry, what would you want to change?
Happy: Well, I'm seeing more of it, but it definitely is still a process that we're going through. With my current show, like I said, I'm the only cast member with younger children, but there are people in the creative staff who have younger children and older children. And I feel like talking more about that.
Like, I do know somebody who actually hid their pregnancy because they were afraid. And it wasn't an actor, it was a person in the creative side of the field. I sort of think, well, if you're sitting behind the table, who cares if you're pregnant? But, but people do. And they think, “Oh, well, they won't be available for XYZ contract six months down the line because they're a mom now and they won't care.” I do wish that the perspectives of that would continue to evolve and be more what the real world is. People don't choose this career because it's easy. So you don't think they're suddenly going to be like, “Well, it's hard to be a parent and do this career. So never mind.”
Hayley: Right. We're also famously good at juggling multiple things.
Happy: You know? I'm sure you guys do that too, it's like you're doing five jobs all the time.
Hayley: Absolutely.
Amy: At least! (laughs)
Happy: Exactly. At least! And so I feel like it's starting to change. And I see in, in some of these mom groups, the theatre people that I talk with, you'll see people having a bad experience and you're like, “Oh my gosh, is that still going on?” But then people will jump on there and say, “When this happened to me, I was fully supported and all I had to do was go and talk to these people.” And so it is making that switch.
When I was on Come From Away, I was lucky enough that lots of people on there had school-aged children. And the school age is the hardest thing. Like, I won't say it was easy to have a newborn with a theatre schedule or a toddler with a theatre schedule. But boy, once they're school age, you just, you miss everything. You know, I drop my kid off at school and he says, “I'll see you tomorrow, mama.” And that's the worst part.
So in regards to things changing, I think just… the realization that we are all parents - and you want this for the corporate world too. Some corporations are awesome about like, “Oh, your kid has a softball game? Sure, kick out at 3:30 so you can go see that. You'll get on later and make sure nothing's on fire.”
And you know, obviously you can't do that when it is the production time, right? You've got to be on stage or you've got to be in the building. But having people who are thoughtful about your time in the building, not just like, “Well, you have to be here because that's what we do.” And I feel like we have that in my current situation.
I think they're very thoughtful about that - even the people who don't have children, taking care of their health and their bodies because you know, ramping up to an opening is the craziest time. Like, I'm not even doing the show all the time and I'm exhausted. Just the hours that you have to put in. But they've been very thoughtful to give people as much rest as they can.
That kind of thinking is paramount to being able to be a parent. Also to be a human. That kind of thinking is what I think needs to just continue to change. I am encouraged by a lot of the change that I've seen. And I'm encouraged to be in a company where, just because I'm the only person in the cast with school-aged children, doesn't mean that they don't think about it. They don't consider it. And they really do seem to have that in mind, taking everyone's humanity into their minds.
I want to see it continue to grow so that people don't ever have those questions of, “Well, I really want to take this job, but I'm sure they won't be able to provide housing if my kid has to come visit me.” You know, that kind of thing. And not every theatre can do that. Finances are tough. But it's more the philosophy. It's like, well, we want to do that, so let's move towards it. Will every theatre be able to? No. But when you want to do it, it starts moving in the right direction. And I think we're there and I just hope we continue to do that.
Hayley: I think you made a really good point there about like, when you name the thing, it's easier to consider it. And I think that that's something that we can apply to other systemic issues within the theatre. When we name it and we look at it and we care about it, even if we can't do everything today, it's just a lot easier to start thinking about solutions and moving in that direction.
Happy: You're absolutely right. It's about, you know, making steps. It's like, are things going to be perfect? No. It's the same in governing and how the airlines work and, you know, how our environment is. We can only do so much at one time, but if you keep putting one foot in front of the other, at least we're making steps.
And we talk about diversity, equity, and inclusion, and this is a part of it too. People who have different situations at home. And just being female. In some ways, we skip over that. You know, women are outnumbered 10 to 1 in our business with opportunities. It was never easy to be a lady in our business at all. And that's not to take away anything from people who have, in addition, other diversity, equity, inclusion situations that they're then piling on top of their womanhood.
But it is part of the equation that you don't think about it until you're forced to think about it or you're really confronted with something that makes it almost impossible to be who you are in this business. And to say, “Okay, but there's got to be a way. I can't just have to give this up because I'm a parent or because I'm a woman,” you know, and there are dads who are dealing with it too.
It's tough, but it's not like, “Yeah, but your problem doesn't matter.” It's, “I hear you.” That is a problem that we have to solve. This is another problem that we have to work toward solving. Will we solve them all today, tomorrow, the next day? No, but let's make steps. And coming together as a community to say, “I support you.” Maybe that makes us stronger and more powerful in naming it. Absolutely it does.
Hayley: I think so.
Amy: Absolutely.
Hayley: Happy, I just want to ask you one last question: What are you most proud of in your life and in your work?
Happy: I think I'm most proud that I think I'm raising a really good human. And I think that comes from my experience with my parents. They tried their absolute best, and I think they did a pretty darn good job of being examples of how we take care of each other and we care about the needs of others. And when you don't understand the needs of others, you ask.
People will say, “Your son is so sweet. He's so empathetic. He's always trying to take care of other people.” And I saw him, the other day, get out of the car. And it was raining. I was dropping him off at school and he put up his umbrella. And within two seconds, he found somebody who didn't have an umbrella and was walking them down. Like, that's just, that's who he is. And I'm very, very proud of that.
And in my career, I think I'm proudest that…that I did hold on because we don't see a lot of that. Or if that happened, people don't talk about it, because they want to appear to have been successful the whole time, right? We don't want to be like, “Oh yeah, I didn't work for three years, I felt like a loser.” I would… you know, I thought, “I'm definitely not going to work again” so many times in my life. We want to appear successful because that breeds success. But sometimes, you know, there's failure before the success or in between those times or just that feeling of failure.
So holding on was really - I'm very proud of that, because I know what I went through to be able to hold on. It wasn't just like, “Well, I'm just going to hold on.” It was like, “I can't do it anymore. I just know I can't do this.” But then one more thing. And I just grabbed one more time for that ring. And I luckily was able to reach one or two.
And then being ready once it was there. Because you can't sit on the bench and keep saying, “But I could do that part. I could, I could do that.” Well, what are you doing for when you get there? How are you preparing yourself to prove that? Because if you can do it in your shower, that's great. But you gotta be able to go out there—whichever venue you're in, whether it's small or large, huge stakes or no stakes… There's somebody watching you and wanting to feel your personal contribution, your soul, your voice, your talent. And how are you preparing yourself to best go out there and do that - what you're capable of, giving your best?
And I'm proud of that. I'm proud that I figured that out for myself. And it's probably the proof that my parents did the right thing teaching us, “You're not going to get anything without working your tush off. And you better keep going ‘cause the work doesn't end.” The work never ends. So keep going, keep working, keep doing better the next time.
Amy: Incredible. Thank you, Happy. Can you please tell our listeners where they can find you on the internet?
Happy: Oh, sure. I'm on Instagram @beltress. That was - one of my guys from West Side Story. When I first came to New York, it was like, “You're either a soprano or you're a belter.” And he said, “Well, darling, you're not a belter, you are a beltress.” (laughter) Yes, so that's my handle on Instagram. That's the best place to find me. And I'm working on my website, but find me on Instagram and I'll shortly have an updated website.
Hayley: Awesome.
Amy: Thank you so much, Happy. This was such a delightful conversation.
Happy: Thank you. You guys are delightful. Thank you so much for talking with me. And I'm so appreciative that you're doing this, because really, we all need this connection, and hearing each other's experiences is so helpful to get us through to the next step, whatever it is.
(Musical transition)
Hayley: That interview was great, I want to say.
Amy: It was!
Hayley: Happy is amazing, and she's so inspiring. For me, the biggest takeaway that I think is applicable to everyone in this is: It does not end for you at a particular age or moment. There's no timeline that is applicable to everyone. And I think that Happy, knowing herself and knowing that her time came when it came, is so inspiring. Because I hear my 20-something friends talking about how they're out of time. And it's just so inspiring to watch someone who never gave up, who just kind of kept going forward, and how beautiful her career is now and how fulfilling it is. And that also, her time away to be a mom, that that didn't take away from what she was doing. It was okay for her to take a step back and focus on something else for a while.
Amy: Yeah. Yeah, I think that was one of my favorite parts of the interview, too, was just Happy talking about…that you get to decide. That it doesn't have to be a thing of like, “Oh, I'm in the industry, I'm out of the industry…” Like, you can be in the industry and just not be working right now. You can be in the industry and be focusing on your family or be working a J-O-B that's your primary source of income. That, for me, was really refreshing.
What I love about Happy is just how she's so grounded in the present moment, where she's like, “This is what my life looks like at this moment, these are the things that are important to me, these are my values right now, and this is how I'm living my values.” And that there's room for that to move around, to shift, because our values and our priorities do shift. And what I think Happy's done really well is to build a career that's spacious enough that it allows for shifting priorities, shifting values, shifting realities of when the work is coming and when it's not. That she can build a career in the theatre industry that has space for all of that is really cool to me.
Hayley: I think so too. It's just interesting to hear: “It's okay to like, take a pause on creative work and on theatre.” This idea that you have to dedicate your whole being to something in order to be good at it or to be worthy of it or to be a part of the community… It can look a lot of different ways, and I think that that's a much more accessible and realistic version of it. For people who do want to have kids, for example, people who have aging parents, or people who are multi- passionate and want to pursue something else for a while. There's like, this weird stigma in theatre around that.
Amy: Right. Well, there's this myth - I remember my acting teacher who said to me, “If there's anything else you can imagine doing in your life, then do that instead.”
Hayley: Oh yeah, we all heard that.
Amy: Right. And it's like, why?
Hayley: And it's like, a very old-school mentality too, yeah.
Amy: Exactly. And I think what we're hearing a lot of our interviewees say, and what I know you and I are feeling too, is like, why? Why is that the case? If there's something else that we can dream of ourselves doing, then yes, and! Like, let's do it. Let's figure out how to make it work.
Hayley: Totally. And also just that we don't have to feel bad about the accommodations we have to make in our life for important things. Like, for me right now, I'm in a long-distance marriage, and I have to leave New York for long periods of time to go spend time with my spouse, who I love very much. And for the first few times, I was feeling really guilty about having to like, just rejig my priorities during those times. So it's really helpful and inspiring for someone like me to see and to hear from folks about the ways that they've done that successfully, and it's actually not this scary big thing.
Amy: Right, that it's okay to build careers that reflect our priorities - our shifting priorities, too.
Hayley: Yeah, we talk a lot about “Content dictates form” in musical theatre writing, but it's like, we don't often apply it to our lives. You know, the contents of my life and my values need to shift form in order to accommodate the dreams that I have, the things that are important to me. You're not going to be at your peak productivity all the time. We are living these cyclical experiences and we have shifting energy levels.
Amy: And there's cycles of life too.
Hayley: Yes. For me personally, thinking of life in cycles is very helpful, as opposed to like, “It has to be consistent and the same every day.”
Amy: Yeah, because that's not realistic.
Hayley: Yeah.
(Musical transition)
Amy: In our Trailblazer of the Week segment, we take a moment to uplift the people who inspire us. This can be someone in our immediate circle or someone we admire from afar.
I'm very excited to uplift my Trailblazer of the Week, who actually was on Women & Theatre a while ago, it might even have been when we were back in blog format. But that person is the fabulous Vanessa Morosco, who is a dear friend and an amazing person who works at the intersection of theatre and ethics. And I am so freaking proud of Vanessa, who just accepted the position of Executive Director at the American Shakespeare Center. The work that she has done to increase equity in theatrical spaces, and particularly in classical theatre spaces, like Shakespearean spaces…
Classical theatre is a very, very, very male-centric space, and it literally is a space that was built for men to uplift other men. And so Vanessa is doing this life's work of changing that through the 50/50 Shakespeare Project that she's doing with her husband Peter. And now, she's just gonna have this giant platform to increase equity in classical theatre spaces through her new position at the American Shakespeare Center. So I am just so freaking proud of her and cannot wait to see what she creates there. She is such an amazing trailblazer and she inspires me every day. Go Vanessa.
Hayley: Go Vanessa! Absolutely.
Amy: So Hayley, who is your Trailblazer of the Week?
Hayley: Amy, I don't know if this is cheating, but you're my Trailblazer of the Week. You do so much as a mama and musical theatre artist and all the other hats that you wear. And you've been just crushing it on your creative projects lately and balancing all of that so beautifully. And like, I know how challenging it is for you because we're friends, but you make it look easy. And I just think your commitment to creating the career that you want at this point in your life while you also have these other responsibilities - I think that that's, it's like an under-reported story how challenging that is to do that, and I just think that you're very amazing and it's inspiring to me. So you're my Trailblazer of the Week.
Amy: Thank you. I'm gonna go cry, listeners. Thank you, Hayley.
Hayley: Go cry.
Amy: Before we say goodbye, I want to hype you up, Hayley, because as you just mentioned, you are in this long-distance marriage and I know you're leaving to go visit your spouse for a while, and I'm really happy that you're going to be able to have that time together. And I know it's really hard and not an ideal situation, but here we are. And I think you're handling it with such grace and such patience. I see that it's hard, and I see that you're rocking it out and living your values, and I wanna hype you up for that.
Hayley: Thank you. I appreciate it. I want to hype you up for being a good friend, Amy, and a good business partner. You're such a good listener and a very good communicator. One of the things that I love the most about working on this project with you and being your friend is that, if there's anything that we need to talk about to make the collaboration or our relationship stronger, you're always extremely game to have a rational, calm, grounded adult conversation. And you're genuinely committed to making this relationship and this project and our friendship the best that it can be. And I really, really am so grateful for that. And I feel like you make me a better friend and a better business partner.
Amy: I appreciate it. Thank you. I love working with you, too. And I do, I just, I love the heck out of you and this project.
Hayley: Aww.
Amy: And we love you, too, listeners.
Hayley: We love you. And go - you know what? Here's the takeaway on this hype segment. Go tell all the people that you love that you love them, and tell them why.
Amy: Yeah, do it! That's your homework, listeners.
Hayley: Okay, see you next week. Love you. Bye.
Amy: Bye!
(Music)
Hayley: Thank you for listening to the Women & Theatre Podcast. We’re your hosts, Hayley Goldenberg…
Amy: …and Amy Andrews! If you like what you heard, subscribe and give us a 5-star review wherever you listen.
Hayley: You can also follow us on social @womenandtheatreproject to make sure you never miss an episode.
Amy: The music for this show was written by talented Women & Theatre community member Chloe Geller.
Hayley: Thanks again for listening, everyone. See you next time!
Amy: Bye!
